- We have three children, between the ages of 7, 9 and 12
- We have talked about the privileges and responsibilities that revolve around independence as they are old.
- This helped them gain the independence they need while giving us the ability to trust them.
I grew up in a generation Latchkey childrenHearing “Come to the house when the street lights” were pushed from the door early in the morning without a bottle of water on the horizon.
While I think this approach leaves a lot of desirable, The freedom of this kind of childhood is not permitted Its benefits also. Independence skills, responsibility and problem solving skills, along with confidence and joy in knowing what to do with yourself as a child, were invaluable, in my opinion.
When I became one of the parents, I realized that I I wanted to give my children a lot of freedom As much as possible.
We create scales around independence for our children
I share the ideal fears and motherhood about safety and ability when it comes to my children. For this reason, our family created scaffolding around the independence of our children. It is both age and ability.
For example, we do Let our children play abroad In annihilation, starting from about 4 or 5 years, provided that we trust that they will not wander in the neighborhood. From there, they can walk to a close friend’s house or a corner store and a bike construction around our area – to the garden, library or ice cream store, from other stains, at the age of ten.
We started these trips with them by allowing them to drive in the family’s outputs. We used to see if they were looking for cars before crossing the road, or they could pay alone in the store, or know the correct rules for riding a bike in the streets. Once we saw them successfully, they managed to do them alone.
Even with our preparation, it does not always work well. Once, our biggest child went to the store and was short money. She was embarrassing, but she taught her a great lesson about looking at taxes and dealing with an uncomfortable situation. In the end, this is one of the points This exercise in independence For us.
Our children gain privileges alongside responsibilities
We also consider the responsibilities of influencing the independence of our children. Early start (years of a small child), we encourage our children to help us in homework such as emptying the dishwasher, folding towels, cleaning common areas, and keeping their rooms clean. In the end, we have to do so on their own. They are washing them when they are ten years old and become responsible for cooking family dinner one night per week (with the help of parents as needed.)
This is a comparison. Since they acquire more responsibilities, they also gain more freedom about things like when they can have screen time and what they can see. It is not exactly a Passing situation, but the combination of privileges and responsibilities contributes to the increasing independence of our children.
Better of all, these responsibilities that they learn each of them learn important life and accountability skills. There were definitely days when our older children wanted to wear their clothes because they were delayed washing for a very long time. One of the results of this was that our daughter added a evaluation reminder to herself to the day of washing (which was followed by the day of washing enough.)
I think that is constantly developed independence is a decisive step in childhood.
We are lucky enough to live in Colorado, only eight states protecting “reasonable independence” for children, but I believe that every child can benefit from opportunities like this to develop their independence. One day, they will need to be able to live in the world alone. Otherwise, how will they gain confidence in decision -making and the ability to manage themselves in different environments if we do not allow them to make mistakes in a safe environment?
Moreover, this balance between privileges and responsibilities enhances our confidence in each other as parents and children. Of course, it is of value for them, but it also has a great value for me to find out what they can do and how much they can do. The learning opportunities they test when errors, such as forgetting their responsibilities or misuse of privileges, help us to raise children who are able to confident.
For me, this is invaluable.
