Have you ever felt that you were just an unpaid trainee in the life of anyone else?
You agree on things you don’t want to do.
You feel guilty to set the borders.
You say “Yes” before you realize what is happening.
Congratulations, I was besieged in A spiral of satisfying people.
Let me tell you of the experience – it’s exhausting.
For years, I thought you were “Cute – Good” It means being acceptable, permanent and permanent. It turns out, this means that I was running empty, full of silent resentment, while anyone else moved away.
So if you finish bending back to people who will not raise your finger for you, let’s talk about it How to prevent people from satisfying and starting to set yourself up.
The real cost of satisfying people
There is this graph that I saw once completely summarized:
Work
Family
Friends
Social obligations
Performing the deviations for people who do not deserve it
comfortable? There is no place to find.
This is the lives of people.
You spend a lot of time to ensure that anyone else is happy because your happiness gets a reward.
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You go beyond the things you don’t want to do.
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Let people pay your limits because the confrontation feels More terrifying From using it.
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You end up to exhaust, burn, and ask why no one considers it ever for you Needs.
the truth?
When you are Giving priority to the happiness of anyone else over yourself, you do not live – you are just alive.
So let’s fix that.
5 ways to stop being a machine to please people
Make “no” your default setting
If not Hell yes, It is no.
It seems harsh, but think about it: Every “yes” for something you do not care about is “no” for the things that already concern.
And let us be real – most of the things that you say yes? You may regret it later.
Additional business projects do not have time? no.
The social events that drain you? no.
Help someone move once again When they never return? Certainly no.
Early your career, saying yes opens the doors.
Later in life, saying yes closing them.
The more valuable your time, the more mercy you have.
How do you say “no” without looking like a fool
Here is The formula of rejection is graceful (Stolen this):
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Thank them for thinking about you.
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Acknowledging that it seems like a great opportunity.
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Suppose you are troubled and you can not pay attention to it.
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I wish them luck.
example:
“Hey [Name]Thanks for reaching! This looks like an amazing project, and I can really think of me. Unfortunately, it has already spanned very thin, and I will not be able to give her the time you deserve. I know it will become great, and I’m excited to see where you take it! “
Respected.
No excessive investigation.
No guilt.
key? Do not leave room for negotiation.
People respect the clear boundaries. They walk all over mystery.
The borders are the symbol of fraud for the mind
There is a quote I love:
“Unnamed expectations are deliberate dissatisfaction.”
If someone continues to increase, then this is for you A job to make the borders clear.
Here is 5 text step -defining boundaries For use:
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“Is now a bad time?” (This makes people more acceptable.)
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“When you are ____, I feel ____.” (Select the case quietly.)
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“I have a personal base where I just allow/I don’t allow ____.” (Framing it as a rule, not a request.)
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“If you continue to do ____, you will have to ____.” (Select a result if necessary.)
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“I hope we can do this work.” (Ends a positive note.)
This works in all The scenario – work, relationships, friendships, even family.
Because the moment when you start applying the borders, it begins Teaching people how to treat you.
Be kind, not “nice”
There is a big difference:
Cute people Avoid difficult conversations to maintain peace.
Good people They have difficult conversations because they really care.
A Cute – Good Managed sugar coat to avoid feelings of harm.
A Compassionate The director gives honest reactions because they want their team to improve.
A Cute – Good Your friend agrees even when you make bad decisions.
A Compassionate A friend calls you because they do not want you to destroy your life.
Conditioner is performance.
Kindness building.
Be nice. And stop wasting your time Cute – Good For people who do not deserve it.
Normalize the “gift of farewell”
You do not owe loyalty to:
Friends who drain your energy.
Jobs that make you miserable.
Relationships that make you feel small.
If there is nothing In addition to your life, It is presented from it.
People are highly valuable Stay away from things that do not serve them.
And the best part?
You don’t need ending. You don’t need Long explanation. You just need He decides.
“This is no longer working for me.”
That’s all you need.
How to prevent people in reality
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Say “no” often → If not Hell yesthat it no.
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Learn to say “no” safely → polite, firm, and final.
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Set clear boundaries → People taught us how to treat you.
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Be kind, not “nice” → Honesty> Avoid conflict.
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Nature walk away → You do not condemn anyone your time.
Your work no To love everyone.
Your work Be honest with yourself.
If someone does not respect your limits, time, or energy … They are not your people.
Final thought
“Don’t be afraid to lose people. Be afraid to lose yourself trying to satisfy them.”
You cannot make everyone happy.
So you may start yourself.
Even next time,
son
