I believed that teenagers and motherhood would be easier than young children; I was wrong

When my son was born on the afternoon of the sunny Sunday, I have finished having children. First, we had a daughter, then our son joined the mixture, and I knew that two were sufficient.

But as the story of paternity and motherhood says, things did not turn as I planned.

Three years later, I was surprised to find myself nests again. This time, I traded a bed for an office. When I am I prepared for the arrival of my nephew in adolescenceI imagined him shattered on the wooden table, where he was crammed to test the differentiation and integration account or write the college entrance articles.

This vision was actually achieved – he was a recruiter and had a very fixed head on his shoulders when he reached the doorstep of our door. But much of what I planned was different from the detailed image I drew in my head.

I was training on the arrival and raising a teenager

When my 15 -year -old nephew moved with us in 2020, although I did not know that at that time, I felt the gift of ignorance. I was raising young, 6 and 3, Fully immersed in the training trainingSleeping, and fingers stuffed in unfortunate cracks throughout my home. I was in the chaotic Littles era, a period of physical taxes of paternity and motherhood.

Maybe you are stupid and naive to think about it Parents and motherhood will not be a more difficult teenager From dealing with young children, but I think going to my blindness is what helped me to raise it during his high school years.

My nephew’s father deals with addiction, and when we heard, he moved from his mother’s house and a bounce between the extended family places, I wanted my husband to help. We have provided a safe and reliable place to finish growing up, two hours away from his hometown.

He left everything he knows, including his little sister sister, behind his mother and friend and started new with us. But, in fact, we started again with each other. In those three years together, we learn What a teenager means. We have quickly learned to switch our minds often and come in every hurdle of scratch. I had to learn to give up. I had to learn to trust that he had to go out and make mistakes.

We had clear limits

I had to realize that a lot of this basis was built in his previous years already. I cannot change what happened in his past, but can I direct him to what to do with the cards that have been dealt with? It was about watching what he could do, without us. I learned to be there when the bones and dry walls are tightened, and let him decide where everything goes, with smart borders.

I often wore between the rear and the dangerous or a aunt, but I have always made the priority of clarifying the borders because I learned that these minds in the adult bodies you need, although they are angry at you to make them at the present time.

Perhaps it was easier for me to look at it in this way-after all, my son was not, and we did not start together from the beginning in those chaotic days. Some can say that I was not an investor, but perhaps this is what has succeeded for us. I can remove this layer from better excessive protection when I am with my children.

I tried to remember what was the case in adolescence

Because it was not my son, I can change the gears more easily. I am not homogeneous of risks, but this Guardian dynamic made me work more similar to the starting start, and the shift with a change of market conditions. This means that I made many calls to close the family and friends who dealt with adolescents and asked them to advise them. I was learning as I went, and when things became very difficult, I relied on the memory of what I was to be a teenager.

We dealt with everything with him: moving and dealing with his parents, friends, girls, sex, experimental prohibition, drugs, alcohol, obtaining a license, driving, grades, sports, jobs at home, jobs outside the home, choosing colleges, applying to colleges, and ultimately, transfer it and send it to the two columns in the next chapter.

I made many mistakes along the way, such as losing calm or trying to small management as I did not belong. While I lived in some problems for a long time, I tried to move forward and re -call when I could. I made an effort to create special matches, my nephew only. It was always simple. His favorite foods fed him, removed him from escaping, or doing things he loves until he knows that I care. After all, it is not related to me.

Will someone remind me of this when my children become teenagers within a few years? Thanks.