My mother of the elderly: I feel jealous of my children’s youth and potential futures

• My children are in the age of college, in the priority of their lives, and they will flourish in every way.
• Meanwhile, I suffer from middle -aged problems, and I feel envy of their youth.
• I constantly try to accept this and find the silver lining.

I have found gray hair recently in my eyebrows, and my heart has crossed a rhythm.

I assume that it may be a comic for those who accepted the aging and speed that life is going through to us, but this is not me – not yet, anyway. No one told me before that the eyebrows turned gray. I assume that no one was really it. I mean, I’m sure I have seen gray eyebrows before, but I never imagined that I would be a victim of this horror – especially not soon.

This unexpected gray hair – just like all wrinkles, hot flash, and new joint pain – reminded that there is still a lot that I wanted to do, and I hope to do.

Just as I was angry at this lollipop directly from its place, I entered my daughter. “Did you almost finish? I need to curl my hair.”

My beautiful daughter, Nora, is about to decide where the college will come next fall. She is enthusiastic about a concert, goes out, and a night coming to hockey. Her hair is thick and gray less. The world is its shellfish – it does not know that.

Molly is my older daughter. She is about to study abroad in Spain. It is dedicated to fitness, and has properly identified its deepest emotions, and follows them with ambition and confidence. It is one of the bravest people I know. I look at it and see something but a vibrant future. The world is also its shellfish, and you may know it.

To be honest, I feel jealous of my daughters. They have everything in front of them, and it seems that my life is behind me.

I often find myself envious of the youth of my daughters

I am very proud of my daughters. I have grown to become such wonderful dynamic young women, and the world is a better place because they are in it.

If I am honest, I can only feel envy when I notice them live their best life. They have young people, time and all their lives in front of them. Sometimes, I would like to warn them that before they know it, they will wake up with gray eyebrows and a former husband.

At other times, I find myself indirectly live through them as if their experiences are already in life. I often shout, “Show me the pictures from that party last night”, “Let’s find a fun place for you and your friends to dance this weekend,” or “you must allocate to this and not that.”

I am worried about wasting my youth

I often say that I have no remorse in life, but this gray hair reminded me that I do. Sometimes I am desperate to the rewind button.

I hope to return to adolescence and choose a different college, complete a different specialty, and take a completely new trip. I dream of returning to the days when I was constantly weighing 138 lbs so that I can estimate this as skinny and suitable instead of reprimanding my young man for being “fat.”

I also want to restore my emotional life. I want to take the wisdom that I collected from every failed relationship. I want to say “no” for those who caused me pain and “yes” to those who have the ability to love me in the right way.

I want to give priority to financial wealth because, when I was eighteen years old, I naively thought that my husband would take care of “all these things.” As a result of this wrong belief, I now live the salary salary.

I find ways to accept and appreciate aging

Do not understand me wrong, I am often happy. But sometimes, life is difficult. The most difficult thing is to look at the mirror and realized that I lived more years than I left.

I often wonder: Are my best years behind me? Did you take them as a release from it? If I gave me a desire, will I really return at the appropriate time, and if so, will I cherish the gift of time more?

Of course, there is a part of me (perhaps a very large part) that loves to be 16 again-but I want to be sixteen years old with the wisdom of 46 years old. I assume that the aging is not all bad, thanks to everything I learned.

I know one thing, though: Today, I am the youngest I will be at all. I assume that there is a 75 -year -old copy of me in the future, with a full range of gray eyebrows, hoping that it will be 46 again. Or you may remember my 75 -year -old, with a pride of 16 and 46 years old while I was overwhelmed with 75 years of age, and I live now, and appreciate everything that is possible.

I think my 46 -year -old myself would be wise to listen to.