I started with anxiety. I didn’t know that after that, but I am doing now.
My older daughter, an independent girl who was waking up, wearing her clothes, starts herself on the bus, and slowly started relying on more.
The middle school, which is a difficult time for many children, was impossible for her. The problems were discontent. She struggled to find her foot in a world full of hormones and volatile friendships. I didn’t know how to help her or fix things, so instead, I did things for her. She brought her meals. I interfered to calm and simplify. I coded because I thought it would make things easier. I did more than me. If I asked, I answered, and pulled time from my children and myself.
She was disappointed when I found this made things more difficult for her.
I had to decline
The lessons you should have learned were postponed because I was going to enter and save today. I assumed that paternity and motherhood mean reform. “In the end, my daughter told me starting her first year,” You have to let me drown or swim. “I knew she was right. She retreated and took a deep breath as she was fighting her battles and tried to restore independence that I had not seen for years. It was not easy to see it sometimes sink, but I understood that I had to do so.
When her sister began to pass her struggles with anxiety when she entered the middle school, she struggled so as not to interfere. Part of paternity and motherhood is learning from errors. Therefore, I had to have a honest conversation with myself. You need to do things differently. Reforming everything did not help with my older daughter. Instead, it made it reliable on me. I created the educated deficit.
As a teacher, my goal is to teach children how to be independent
My daily job as a special education teacher helped me understand more about children’s education how they are independent. It is the goal of everything I do as a teacher. I teach them the skills they need to move in the world independently. This is what I was hoping to do with my older daughter. This is what I knew I had to do differently for my younger daughter.
I often told my students that we are still learning throughout our lives. Learning is a process that never stops. This is especially true in paternity. He was reflected in how to change the way I responded to my daughter, especially during the times when I faced great anxiety.
Although it was easier in many cases to intervene and fix or repair things, nothing will teach them but how to rely on instead of relying on themselves. Instead of repairing as I did with my ancient times, I am studying. She learns to deal with stress by discovering what causes this first and then finding strategies to fix them. We have reached solutions that she can either do at the present time, know how they work, or they did not work with it after the truth.
Focus on solving problems
She recently did her washing. Instead of putting her away, threw her on her bed. Then she threw it on the ground and was not careful to separate her from her dirty washing. We discovered that the reform (throwing washing on its ground because it was tired) created more work for her later and caused tension. To move forward, she must either put the laundry and leave itself enough time or put it in a separate basket for clean clothes. I have learned that teaching problem solving, setting the task priorities, and knowing what it succeeds and what does not help her fix things for themselves.
I also apply this to school and friendships. I do not interfere and contact teachers. Instead, my daughter moves on her way through missing homework tasks and questions about tests. My daughter communicates with teachers and asks for help or clarification. She does the same with friendships by trying to work through things by communicating.
I am proud of the skills you learn as she is heading towards high school. As a previously manner, it is sometimes difficult to only break everything. What prevents me is to know that I create a more problem by doing this. To create and enhance the independence you will need to move from secondary and college schools to the real world, I must encourage them and allow them to learn the skills that you will need to make difficult decisions and survive.
The thing in paternity and motherhood is that it is not only related to protection and comfort; It is also related to retreat and allowing children to do things themselves. It is one of the most difficult and most necessary parts of paternity and motherhood.
