I tried to “reform” my son and finished learning something about myself

“I have good news! There are no big dawn today or crying on the ground; I just need some additional support during our transition times!”

A sunny light was broadcast early in the afternoon through the pre -school classroom window because she provided what was supposed to be encouraging news. But her description of my son’s feast hurts. How was a “good day” for him he had no full anger in the middle of the class?

When he led him to the house, he was investigating the bright sunlight, he quietly benefited in the back seat. I grabbed the steering wheel more hardening, and I fight tears. I felt as if I spoiled everything. Among our four children, his behavior was controlled, and I was constantly searching for “reforming it”.

Search late in the night other than everything

Every night after the children enter, I was eventually in my usual place on our sofa, and passing through the articles of parenthood and motherhood. My eyes will be heavy, but my mind will be a race. What can I do differently? This is when I saw an article about very sensitive children, and I stopped passing.

I sat tarily and I read every line. These children hate the crowds. They cannot stand out loud. They pick up everything around them, with very smart people, and feel emotions as if they are preparing to a complete level.

This is the reason why his ears were covered and cried when things became very chaotic around him. No wonder that he melted pre -school, church, and birthday parties – that was because he was exaggerated. All I was hitting myself around it is completely logical now. But there was something else. This list was not only describing my son, but also describing me!

I find myself in the story of my child

When I read more about very sensitive people (HSP), my childhood memories returned to mind. Fourteen years of age, I remember sitting in a sleeping room after school, immersing her to break my friend – I feel extensively as if it were my country. I called it “excessive disruption” at that time, and eventually led me until it became a therapist. But until this moment, I never understood a reason I felt more deeply than the other.

He also explained the reason for taking small details that others miss and why I feel easily confused. I realized at this moment that all this time, I was trying to fix my son when he really helped me understand part of myself I always felt a defect.

A new way of paternity, motherhood and living

The discovery has changed that night a lot about how to live and the father now. I stopped seeing my son’s sensitivity as something that needs to be changed. Instead, I saw it as a feature that was just part of it and we could work with it.

We now leave birthday parties a little early if it begins to exhaust. We make sure that he has time to stop after school to cancel the pressure. I am talking about being HSP, which helps him to treat his great emotions.

Likewise, I started knowing how to set an appointment for my life in a way that works with sensitivities. I no longer feel guilty about putting headphones to cancel noise when my children are very loud and ignored.

Complete circle coming

What started as a desperate attempt to fix the anger attacks for my son turned into one of the best things that happened in my life. Finally, the permission is exactly to be who I am and allow my son to be exactly who is. Now, when parents come to my treatment, the child describes “difficult” or “excessive emotional”, I see familiar signs. I share my story, and I watch relief wash their faces as they start to understand their child differently.

Last week, my mother destroyed when she explained how her daughter’s sensitivity was not a problem to repair her, but simply part of her. These sessions have turned from the tasks of solving problems into conversations where parents discover new ways to work with their child’s sensitivity.

Often, the things we try to change around our children are things that can teach us more about ourselves.