I took my husband’s name. I have been tired of the wrong people

“Kelly Lee!” Paying algebra in the ninth grade Teacher during a roll callJust as it was every day of the school year. But this time, he rippled laughter through the separation.

When Mrs. Wadi – a woman who did not wander in any nonsense – asked her to enter the joke, a classmate in the chapter dismantled her, “This is not her name!”

My name was an honor and a headache

My name is before marriage, Lee Kelly. I used to joking that I had two final names and two first names Because people used my name to exchange. Since Lee traditionally the name of a man, I am not a man, people will look at me, see my name, and turn my name automatically.

the The male name was intended. My parents called me my grandfather’s grandfather, who was sick when I was born and died when I was a year. His name was honored and pain in my daily life. I could not use my middle name to help save me. Balddy was the name of the family, giving me a full name that was all the titles. My family takes a very literally honorary name.

So I was stuck to me.

Kelly Lee can appear anywhere – in school, mail, phone calls or other interactions with strangers. Sometimes, I correct the error. But often, I haven’t even disturbed. Although The mistake pushed me crazyIt does not seem to be worth the energy to summon the other person.

It came to the point that Kelly responded easily as I responded to “Lee”. The only thing that will end my name is duplication of changing the legal name.

I knew that I would take the name of my last husband

When my husband and I were engaged, I was 100 % Ready to take his name. I had no concerns about getting rid of the identity of my family. There was no feminist hesitation about the patriarchal expectation of sabotaging my wife’s identity. I will not be Kelly to me anymore.

My husband’s last name is Ocunil, and he was perfect. It was not strange or not attractive. When his association with my first name, he will not have unfortunate societies or voices (think about Lazwald or Lee Roy). There was no one confused by the first name. I will never have to correct anyone about my name again. I will never be OCONEL.

No one is mistaken now

In the 14 years that married, I had no one to correct my name once. I am always mine, never Kelly. My ears are not prick when I hear “Kelly” anymore, and I do not feel that I have to answer any name next to my country.

The stranger, I received a message addressed to Kelly Lee Occanel two years ago. When I took my husband’s name, I followed the agreement of the name of my middle name, mostly, so I had a female name somewhere there. Once I saw that message, I sent a picture to a high school friend who sat next to me in algebra, the only person who is calling me to me to this day. “It is there!” I shouted.

The weight of all problems in the world, so making people make my name make it very unimportant. It was a simple irritation that never hindered my day.

What bothered me about it was that many people were ready to start an interaction or relationship with me based on the assumption of who you were or who believed that I should be. This assumption was a mistake. It was supposed to be more fresh and more generous to feel curious about who I am, to explore whether my realistic was stabbed in their assumptions.

Now that it is behind me, it is easy to look at my double name as a strange swallowing of past, compared to easily to be for me, not Kelly. Sometimes people are still assumed that I am a man, so you cannot win everything.