I am the last in my family’s lineage and I deal with expectations

Returning to at least five generations, I am the end A group of women who carry it.

Some of these women, most of whom are Anna, Maria, Maria Grachiana, Anna Marie, and Anna Margaret, are no longer more than branches for me, settling in Brooklyn in the early nineteenth century from Ireland or recently from Italy. My mother and mother Anna and Maria Women who raised me And those I think about when I signed a document or request coffee.

However, they all express my mind, these women are limited to the lives that may not keep them comfortable or safe, and they live at times when They had no options She focused on survival.

Their history of the statistical office and ship’s data boiled. Since I was now forty years old and You are unlikely to have childrenThis lineage disappears with me. I spent a lot of time to think about expectations that these women may have for me with all my life options.

I am tired and I do not want to hide

I grew up, I heard the stories of my mother who hides me in the service truck when it is Day care cannot be tolerated In its company’s phone job.

I believed that her hard work and his sacrifice would give me a life that she had no. I brought me to the lessons of the dictates to take my dialect in New York. We have made stories about me working in an office across the river in Manhattan, and one day, with my house.

Every opportunity will be available to me.

She was right. They were, and I realized them all. At any time you give an opportunity, I jumped on it. I Travel over six continentsHe filled dream jobs, met with celebrities, politicians and kings. I own my home, as I proudly show a black and white image of my mother family, and it is a reminder of those who should thank everything.

But I have a overwhelming secret: I am tired of the depths of my bones, and I do not want to scream anymore.

I love the simple life whose ancestors were

Now, I yearn for the cities of the Napoli castle and the Irish fields that were my lineage. I turn through cheap household accounts on Instagram, dream about the place installed in Abruzio, eat fragrant tomatoes off the vine, and gossip with neighbors in community gardens.

I love a simple life. I would like to find a slower vicious circle. I desire time to accommodate art and literature, I see beauty with my eyes, and I meet new people. I want to be able to name every star in the sky. But if you stop climbing and achieve prizes, do I give up on them?

There is a lot of science behind psychology from great expectations. It is very common to feel bruising for the traditions of the family that chooses our paths in life. And when these relatives are died, there are additional feelings that wonder if you have done everything you can while you were given. We all want the people we love to be proud of us.

2007 Research analysis conducted by scientists Todd Rogers and Katie Melkman brings these feelings in their perspective with a daily option. Think of the worldly mission of walking through the grocery store. You may aim to eat more healthy, but you pass by apples and instead you decide to treat yourself with the chocolate bar. Rogers and Milkman calls for the moment of consideration The self must be opposite the selfWhat should I do for what I really want to do, and you can find this psychological phenomenon that exceeds the supermarket.

In the example of the chocolate bar, immediate gratification is the basic hypothesis behind the need for the self. What will make you happy now? This feeling fights should be the person who aims for the options that we believe has a greater future result. Intelligence should create a mental list of long -term benefits that will provide a better future. In today’s psychology, the psychotherapist and the author Nancy Koir takes this step forwardDraw a relationship between the desire to be seen as a good and good person who is motivated to create a better future or to be seen as someone who takes what they want now. The problem here is that the “Cases” list can be subjective. This “debris” can come from a cultural standard, such as thinking that we need a specific title at work or thinking that we need to look in one direction when our bodies are built in another way. It can even come from the long -time family traditions of being beneficial to anyone.

I focus on what I want

Many of my happy and special life moments begged the question, “Do I do enough?” Do I increase every opportunity for me? Have you expanded to the highest level of career ladder and have become perfect in my social life? What do I think about what I did with the freedom allocated to me?

But recently, and with a lot of reading and research, I turn this story on her head. No more “cases” that make me tired and sick; I call for more “desires”. Isn’t part of the choice accept what I really want to do?

Be the best of my best commitment to what I think I should do to make others happy but understand how they are happier on time. We hope that this is exactly what will make Anna and Maria proud as well.