- When my three children were young, I had no problem teaching them the rules of life.
- Now that they were teenagers, I have no idea how parents are for them.
- I try to stay away from their way in the hope that they will learn independence.
When my children were younger, I felt I knew what I was doing. I knew what I had to teach them, how to discipline them, and how to keep it safe.
These young children grew into three teenagers, and now I am confused. As a single mother, I do not know how to deal with parental adolescents properly; It is something clear that I haven’t done it before.
Sometimes I want to tell them: I have no idea about triangular science, and why Jessica does not talk to you today, or how to improve “Snapstreak”.
Although I continue to compensate with progress and I hope that I will not cause any permanent damage along the way, there are some things that I learned from experience and error.
I try to be like the coach and the least as the manager
When my children were younger, I took the rules -based approach to paternity and motherhood. My children have learned how they should treat others, how they should deal with their education, and how they should contribute to our family and society. These were easy rules for the model and teaching it.
But paternity and maternity based on the rules that helped me operate a narrow ship when they were young children and pre -teenagers were no longer.
I realized that disturbing their lives to ensure that the rules are useless. These days, I play a greater role in the back seat.
In his last year of high school. He insists that he is studying and that his education is under control. I have made it clear that I am here to get help when he wants, but I do not check that he is accomplished all his school work. Perhaps in his room he will be in his games instead of reviewing his articles. But if you do it now, what happens when it is in the college next year or when it is at work and something that is not going well?
Be independent and learn how to seek help from the most important skills that children need to learn. Giving them space is the only way I know how to teach them.
Certainly I have all the answers, but I hope it will be by listening, enabling my children to talk about things, and present my opinion, they will make the appropriate options for them.
A good play coach watches the play and has tricks of a few tricks from the previous experience, but at the end of the day, they cannot take the stadium.
Sometimes, I feel like I am additional in their life story
After all cooking, cleaning, wandering around, coordinating time tables and completing my own job, on some days, I feel that I am no more than just a drama is the life of the teenager.
Apparently, the difficulties and injustice they face go beyond my understanding, and I “do not get it!”
These days, I remember myself to retreat and allow drama to reveal. Sitting on the margin is sweet and bitter. I am increasingly realized that very soon, they will not need anymore, but I also saw how they grow and mature.
Soon, they will go out and become adults
I am sure you are the youngest of 17 years old, I will be the best preparation for navigation in dramas and emotions for adolescents – annoying, becoming an expert as soon as the skill is unnecessary.
However, I remember myself now is the right time for me to lay the foundations for adult relationships with my children because regardless of age, they will always need me in some way.
Perhaps more importantly, I need to think about my private life and make plans for time and free from the responsibility that awaits me. As one of the parents, my live will be empty and really empty, so what will I fill it?
We are far from perfection, but teenagers and I am fine, and most importantly, we continue to learn from each other.
