I am flexible with the style of paternity and motherhood based on the child and the situation

When I became a mother, she devoured the books of parenthood and motherhood, hoping to find the “correct” way to raise my child. After all, there are countless Parents and motherhood experts There, it seems that they all promise that with the right techniques, paternity and motherhood can be simple like following the formula. To be fair, each of these methods helped in their own way.

However, 13 years and three children later, I learned that more than others Parents and active motherhood The style is not a formula at all. It is more like a flexible flow, adapting to every situation – and every child – as necessary.

What suits one child does not necessarily work for another

In the early years, when I thought there was one “correct” way to do things, my first child made me feel like a miracle of paternity and motherhood. Early, it was Sleeping overnightEating well, and it was just easy. Of course, I installed this mood to my tireless follow -up to expert advice and congratulated myself on learning how to be an excellent mother. Then my second child arrived and dawn that theory into parts.

What was working for the first time did not succeed at all for the second. The techniques that I have switched before, such as Dr. Harvey Carb “5 S” for sedative infants, left my new child screaming with a louder voice. Nothing is humble faster than the newborn who does not hold the one who refuses to calm down with a reference list.

So I returned to the drawing board, and took my way during the first days of paternity and motherhood and followed my son’s signals to find out what I have settled instead. It was inclined, but he also taught me a A wonderful lesson in paternity and motherhood Early: There are no similar children, and the strategies of paternity and motherhood need to bend with them.

It allows me to be flexible to be a more responsive parent

By the time when our third child was born, I had no expectations. I had a complete set of tools of ideas, thanks to all that I have done in reading and the five years of the experience of paternity and motherhood that I gained, but there are no illusions that any one curriculum would work globally. This flexibility made me one of the parents more quieter and more responsive. And not only during the child’s years.

As our children grow, it has become clear that everyone treated the world differently. I have also learned, just like the calming techniques needed to vary, as well as emotional support. One of our children wants calm A space for treating great feelings; Another needs immediate hugs and reassurance. And the third is somewhere between them. This is still changing with their age. We have learned to remain adaptive to what they need at any age or a specific situation based on what we see, instead of a set of steps.

These days, I am just a parent, and there is no superior need

Over time, I found that the focus is more on any of the philosophy of paternity and the specific motherhood. If you spend a lot of energy concern about howThe nice father“I will respond, I was not really an interest in what my child needs at that particular moment.

Parents and motherhood ended through a rigid text in general with frustration for all of us, but paternity and motherhood through the presence was a different story. This helped us feel more contact and solve the problem in general more quickly. Not to mention this, just as anyone who revolves around children quickly realizes, following anything strict is difficult.

These days, I am less interested in putting a sign of paternity and motherhood and more focused to be the father that my children need at that specified moment. Parents and motherhood, for me, are not related to finding the “correct” system to be followed up. Instead, it was about flexibility, attention to my children, and meeting them where they are, with any patience, curiosity and mercy at that moment. This may not be perfect, but it looks correct.