- Once my children started obtaining social calls from their friends, I told them that they could say no.
- I also said that they could use as an excuse if they could not say anything else.
- We are talking about the reasons they don’t want to do.
When you are in 7Y The row, the girl who lived through the street reluctantly invited me to a Birthday sleep Because our mothers were friends. We haven’t spent some time together since the elementary school, and I didn’t want to go, but my mother said it would be ungrateful not to attend. I felt awe this week for a month; It was embarrassing and uncomfortable as I imagined.
I held this experience with me as my children began to move in social calls. One of my children was recently invited to a friend’s house, but he did not feel it. he He struggled to say no Without disturbing his friend, we discussed some options. In the end, I gave him easy: blame me. Tell his friend that we have family plans. He said his appearance from relief everything. The next time this friend invited him to do something, he was more than happy to go.
Teenagers know that they can use me as an excuse
This is not the first time that I do so. Teenagers know that they can Use me a scapegoat If they need an excuse – to get out of an uncomfortable or simply position to avoid embarrassing social interaction. Perhaps they felt pressure to agree to the plans they had later regretted, or maybe they were not sure of attending an event but they did not want to harm someone’s feelings.
Whatever, I am happy with that Blame.
I understand the arguments against this type of Parents enter. Shouldn’t children learn to defend themselves? Do they not have to develop skills for the decline in calls politely, but frankly? And yes, in the long run, I want my children to feel confident in calling for themselves, whether with teachers, trainers or friends. But I also realize that you know the management of social dynamics, especially in adolescence, is difficult.
Learn how to say it does not take time takes some time, and while they are still developing this skill, I do not see any harm in providing a way out of something they do not prepare to deal with alone.
I know my children to be kind
I think most of us have used similar tactics for SIDESTEP is an uncomfortable position Regardless of age. At the heart of this is understanding that not every situation calls for a direct and indisputable response.
We encourage children to say the truth, but we also teach them about kindness and ingenuity. If my son does not want to go to a party, does he really need to tell his friend, “I don’t want to stick with you today?” Of course not. As adults, we will not do it either. We reduced the rejection, provided an alternative, or, yes, sometimes, use a small white lie to facilitate things.
This does not mean that I encourage breach of trust in all fields. My children know that honesty is not negotiable when it comes to things like school work, obligations and personal responsibility. But social situations are often more accurate. It requires a level of diplomacy that teenagers are still discovering. I am all for this if it gives them an easy and results free of charge that helps them navigate in difficult situations with less pressure.
I want to be their safety network
Besides helping them avoid discomfort, this strategy also gives them an important safety net. They know that if they find themselves in a situation that feels wrong – whether it is a peer pressure or just a bad fiber – they can use me as outside. There are no questions. “My mom needs me to the home” or “my parents do not allow me” with compact escape methods that allow them to quickly remove themselves from the situation.
At the end of the day, I think you know not to be an important life skill. But it develops over time with experience and confidence. I try to keep the connection lines open so that we can discuss these situations and their reasons for a desire to say no, which helps me to understand what they deal better with.
But until my children feel comfortable moving into those situations on their own, I will be here, and I offer them easy whenever they need them. And if this means carrying the blame for a few calls for refusal? I am more than happy to play the bad man.
