A woman moved to Ireland to study, but she never felt stable. She moved home

I remember that I was sitting on my childhood bedroom, surrounded by books, daydreaming of life in a far place. Somewhere more quieter, more green, more poetic. Ireland somehow became this place in my mind.

I imagined walking in the same streets as Bram Stoker and Oscar Wilde and spending Sundays in local libraries. I know this looks excessively romantic, and perhaps even naive, but I didn’t care. I wanted that life, and I spent years working for it.

In 2022, I took my shot. At that time, Dublin was a common choice for international students. When I was accepted at Trainte College in Dublin, pain or from the writers I liked for a long time, I felt that everything was in his place.

The Trinity was all that I was hoped to be

The first time I wandered across the Treente front field, she stood there to take everything. I couldn’t believe that I was already there.

Then came the long room, the famous library that seemed to belong to Hugors. Standing there, surrounded by many old books, you were in awe. I was lucky to live and study in a place with a lot of history. I felt as if I had entered the same story that I had imagined in my head for years.

While I was in Trinity, I met people from all over the world, with their stories and views that expanded my country. I felt as if I had finally started building the future that I always dreamed of.

Outside the campus, Dublin was not what you imagined

The local housing crisis hit me very hard. After weeks of searching, I ended up in a small room that barely fits the bed, and pushed more than I could tolerate it reasonably. I came to Dublin with a plan and knew it would be expensive, but nothing brought me back to how much the first weeks are linked.

Only when I finally started to feel stable, I started realizing that Dublin did not feel welcomed as I was hope.

Almost every day, I saw strangers screaming at each other in the streets, fighting on buses, and causing racists like the daily language. Teenagers – some of whom are young – wandered with a reckless confidence, and people are bullying and harmful without any fear of falling.

Initially, I thought it was in the city center. Everyone warned me, “It is going there.” Therefore, I changed my teeth and kept my head down. Then one afternoon, in a quiet, sophisticated neighborhood, a stranger suddenly shouted at a hateful insult to my ears. I froze. No one interferes.

This moment showed me – if something like that could happen there, in broad daylight, it was not just the “coarse” parts of the city. It was the entire city.

You made me riots 2023 Ask if you really belong

She graduated in September 2023 and renewed the work visa after studying. I was still optimistic, ready to see where life might take me in Dublin.

But after two months, I was working late when my phone was beating by notifying the news application. There was an appeal outside a school, where five people were injured, including three children, and now riots were all over the city.

Social media reports claimed that the attacker was an illegal immigrant, and the assignment of posts is enough to cause anger.

Within hours, Ocunile Street, just minutes after where I work, could not be identified. People gather, not in mourning, but in anger. They put buses and tram on the fire, shattered the windows of the stores, and looted everything that could carry them.

I left the work that I would go home quickly. But the buses stopped. The guards had closed the roads. It took me three hours long and tense to return. I kept checking my phone, and watching videos of places that I knew were torn. I kept thinking, I don’t feel safe here. Maybe I really did.

That night turned my point of view. She arrived full of hope, ready to build a life here. But suddenly, I felt uncertain – just as I did not completely belong.

bye bye

I want to say that Dublin let me down, but it may be more complicated than that. He gave me a lot to be grateful to: education, memories, and great friends. But it took my hair slowly to belong and finally decided to go home.

Perhaps this is not a loss.

Perhaps part of growth is learning when to give up the dream that you chased once so that you can make way for something better.