- I had difficulty making friendships when I was at school and college.
- I turned to the books instead and I will read how to make friends to see if I can learn something.
- I finally learned how to make friends, and here are my advice to do so.
Forming friendships did not come to me easily. I had the social disasters: introverted, shy, and relatively embarrassing.
Throughout the school and the college, I have always envied people who can hold a friendship with everyone around them. While I was the best reading of a book on the train rather than stumbled on talking to the stranger next to me, I was always wondering if I was lacking in something required to form the permanent friendships that I was yearning for.
The books have always provided a form of friendship for me, so of course he turned to many of the exactly allocated to this topic: how to make friendships. I would like to consult them for hours, read them more than once and write down notes on the steps they guarantee will help me find friends. But it seemed that many tips were more directed towards the open.
Although the advice books that gave me logical, I realized that I had to do this in some way, still loyal to whom I am. Here is how you did so.
Start with common interests
The key to this is not to surrender if you do not click with one group immediately. I tried many Bible studies, for example, before finding the right. Although it is frustrated by trying multiple groups and putting yourself there, it is definitely worth it when you finally click with people – and you realize that you are no longer forced to search for them.
Put in time and effort
Although it seems clear, I feel comfortable about my friends because I spent time with them and I know they care about me as I care. But this did not happen overnight.
When I joined the Bible study for the first time, where I found most of my friends, I was shy and hesitant to share a lot about myself. Now, I count these women like some of my dearest friends. But at the time between them, we all made an attempt to create the relationships we are now proud.
Be the first to continue
The effort is not always mutual efforts – in any relationship, there are times when one person does not enjoy the extent of the frequency range. Although this is used to offending me, I now know that he has nothing to do with the same friendship, but one person’s ability to attend the relationship.
With my friends now, I’m incredibly lucky that when I feel nervous or tired, they show me grace and go up where I cannot.
Many of my previous friendships did not succeed because we stopped making effort – and now I know that even if the other person stops, I need to keep my side in order to survive. I was going out in the past, believing that the other person did not care. But sometimes, this means only that the person who does not drown helps us stay standing on his feet.
Be fast in forgiveness and ask for forgiveness
I used to stick to Old Spes, believing that I was protecting myself from feeling injustice again. But I was really prevented from developing meaningful contacts. It is amazing what happens when you let the walls down and only recognize when you are wrong.
Recently, I had a dispute with a friend, and instead of leaving myself I was upset (which would have been my natural reaction for years), I contacted him to apologize, and we worked on it. In order for friendship to continue, the other person must concern more than our pride.
Get out of your comfort area – when it makes sense
Sometimes, developing a deeper relationship with others means doing something you usually say no. This year, my studies of the Bible went to the mountains on one of our friend’s birthday, and while I usually feel terrifying, I said yes anyway. I will never regret hanging on the surface of the cabin with my friends late at night, walking long distances on the smoke, and wondering if we saw a bear, and we asked what I wanted to have breakfast because I felt enough enough around people I was with.
I am grateful to find many beautiful friendships over the past few years. Together, we tried new things (such as dancing on the line – something I never imagined even a year ago) and witnessed the joy of spending a lot of time with the people you pick up on each other’s phrases and adopt them as your own leader.
Although I am happy to have books on how to make friends, I am grateful I no longer need to consult them – I found my people.
