My father’s 53 -year -old marriage taught me that the conflict is healthy and natural

My parents recently celebrated the forty -fifth anniversary of their marriage. They met while traveling through Spain in 1971 and married six months later.

My mom has always said that she was not all rainbows and butterflies. But they worked in difficult times and persevere with their marriage, even when things are difficult.

Although I was always terrified of commitment, I was also lucky enough to get their strong example in the form of a strong marriage, and I got married to Sam – the love of my life – in 2015.

They have learned that it is good to have different interests

Regardless of their common passion for travel, my father is one of the opposites in many ways. My mother loves art and languages, going to the theater, and watching movies.

My father, on the other hand, was always enjoying playing, watching sports, collecting stamps and doing cross words. In his fifties, he randomly decided that he wanted to run a marathon and ended up making four. My mother did not run a day in her life.

However, they share in some of the basic values ​​that always keep them on the same page: the love of learning and the acquisition of general knowledge, the belief in seizing the day and the maximum benefit from every moment, the importance of preserving the flame alive, and believing that the family always comes first, regardless of what.

My husband and I also from the polar opposites in many ways, but like my father, our basic values ​​are aligned.

I grew up, I saw that the conflict is natural and healthy

While I was older, the people were often hot. Sometimes, there will be periods that they do not speak together because they need calm.

However, my parents have always solved the problem with openness and communication. By watching it, I learned that the struggle in a long -term relationship is inevitable and natural. There must be differences in opinion, values, needs and desires, but how do you deal with the conflict and its important solution.

Show me the importance of space in the relationship

My parents have always been given each other – a space to follow the hobbies they enjoy, an independent travel space, and the time alone to recharge when needed.

My mother is very independent. During my childhood, I worked hard, saved, and took my sisters while I was on international trips while my father stayed at home and continued to work. I have always said it is important to be your person and follow your dreams.

My husband and I are similar in that we have our own interests and give each other space in our relationship. We rotate on individual children free of children, then we are shipping and ready for family life. Getting the time to stop each other helps us to keep the spark alive and appreciate what we have more.

I know that marriage takes work

There is no perfect marriage. Most of us hinder some stage of our relationships, but if you really love each other, you can usually restore it to the right track.

I know that there were times when my father’s marriage was on the rocks. There were tremendous challenges in life to move, and both my father will admit that he made mistakes.

But in the end, they love each other deeply. This consumer love, constantly, helped them to treat each obstacle together and appeared stronger.

Among all the lessons that I taught about relationships, this was the most important: Love deserves to fight for it. always.