- We allow us 10 -year -old to go to places alone.
- He is studying alone for the library, and it is the place that says that children under the age of ten need to come with an adult.
- Everything started during the epidemic, but we agreed with other fathers to allow him to happen.
Certainly, the turning of 21 has its benefits, as well as 18. But 10 is the first magic number in our family.
When my son reached 10 in 2024, he entered a new scale of independence. He is now welcome to go alone to the places that were before adults to accompany him.
He falls into the local YMCA, where he and his friends can swim, play basketball, or participate in table, billiards, or FOSBALL (and snacks) in the “Teenagers Center”. He is a reader of his evil, who can train to the city library, which asks adults to supervise children under the age of ten. He and his favorite friend enjoy the recently opened video game corridor in the center of our city.
It is useful for Northhampton to be small – about 30,000 people – and can be largely accessible on foot or bike from our home. School, y, library, and all corridors are less than one mile.
We agreed with other parents to allow our children to roam
Visiting these places without a parent is the latest development in what I call “not to know the whereabouts of our children every second”, which is a very informal arrangement among some of the families of my older friends.
Allowing our children with the amount of independence is the opposite of the path of paternity and the helicopter that has become very prevalent among us when we were young, in the eighties and early nineties, and now. Search supports us – a 2018 study It has been shown that the children of parents who hover over all their activities are more likely to be anxious, depressed and low self -esteem.
Also, under paternity and maternity for observation, children take longer to know how to do themselves. With five nearby colleges and universities, the Northhampton region is home to professors, including my wife, with a lot of stories about students whose parents are trying to expand on behalf of their children, from choosing their classes to complaining directly to professors, or even management, about a low degree. It makes me wonder how or if these adults are able to make their washing without multiple phone calls to the home.
Everything started during the epidemic
Our journey to independence began, opposite, during the epidemic.
In the fall of 2020, the school was limited to Zoom classes, a completely ineffective way to interact with children between the ages of 5 and 6. A handful of families in our area formed a pod and it was good to find a teacher with a natural kindergarten background. Our children spent the vast majority of their time in the fall and winter abroad, and riding their bicycles like a two -wheeled goose and learn how to deal with themselves, with nice supervision, as they explored the world around them.
These days, as fourth graders, they are free to trade back and forth to each other’s homes. This is how they were spending the afternoon during the past few months.
Instead of participating in structured activities (and not inexpensive) after school, they interact on the field or enjoy themselves in one of our homes, as long as one of the parents exists. Many of us work at home, so someone is generally present.
Although we tend to have an approximate idea of their whereabouts when they are in the world and when they will be at home, we are pleased to leave the rest for them. Most of them also have other activities, such as sports lessons or music. But when they have free time, they are old enough now to find out how they want to spend, without adults arranging all the details in advance.
I want my children to have the right independence for life
We are parents here to answer questions, provide guidance, and marginalization – this is part of our job. But giving my children the latitude to make their own decisions when the risks are low is how they will learn to make good decisions when it is important. It is part of how to develop confidence to defend themselves and manage social and academic demands as they grow.
Ultimately, it provides them with an appropriate feeling of independence now is how they will learn to run their lives in a 10 -year -old -year -old -year -old for 10 years than they are.
In my house, at least, children fold their laundry.
