- My adult daughter told me that she did not want to hear my advice anymore, and set limits.
- She was affected by her ability to set the borders, and she was always emotionally mature.
- I am jealous of her ability to do so, but she is an inspiration for me.
“My mother, I will make you update my life, but I do not want your advice because I will not consider it anyway.”
My daughter mentioned her well -prepared borders because she jumped in the car. She was somewhat laughed while waiting for the exciting details of her life as a 21 -year -old university sports student.
Molly told me everything about her friends, hockey and lessons. She revealed her desire to study abroad and her newly discovered love for Irish music, and of course, she ridiculed any boy’s drama (or her absence) as is always the case. I listened. We laughed.
At the end of our conversation, her courageous request to set the border was successful. I have made something very difficult, such as setting borders, and you look easy. This is when I realized that I was envious of her.
My daughter often went up to the role of adults
I often joked that my older daughter, Molly, gave birth to an adult. From the moment I was born, she teach me how to be a better person. During most of the years alive, she took care of me.
Initially, you were addicted to active alcohol that could not take care of herself – not to mention her children. When I finally felt rude and did not really know how to live without alcohol, Molly taught me.
She does not know that and may not have been trying, but she made the things that felt hard for me look very easy.
When her parents were divided and life changed from one house to two, she became a second father for her siblings in both houses; It is simply ascending. A lot fell on her shoulders, but she never leaked.
It is calm in chaos – always. It is love and patience – always. She is a leader – our leader – and we tend to her (although we should not). Molly has always made everything look easy despite the fact that there was nothing in her life. I have always been able to remember, I looked at it.
Now you take steps I am afraid to take
“I don’t want your advice.” She said with a smile, pride, and due pride. I did not say that. I did not feel refusal or less, but I was jealous.
This was not the first time I hope to be like Molly, but this time, it was more influential. She wondered: How was my daughter mastered the challenge of defining the borders and did not do? How did Molly learn this valuable lesson at such an early age? How did it beautifully implemented it?
I was suffering from this whole life – to the point that I usually became my desires and I need to avoid the borders completely, and this leads to resentment and anger, and anything unlike peace.
The factor of jealousy emanates a lot these days. Both my young adults have their lives in front of them, and I am in a stage of life where I started looking back. When I do, I realize that I spent a lot of time to be the worst enemy because I am not comfortable with what Molly did. I deal with people first, avoid discomfort, and refuse to fear.
I feel jealous of my daughter and I do not think this is a bad thing
The jealousy often has a negative indication, but I know that the word has roots in the word zēlos, which means enthusiasm. It is associated with words such as simulation, dedication or enthusiasm. This is what I often feel for Mawli – love, dedication, and the desire to simulate it.
It shows me who I want to be – maybe who I wish I had become sooner.
When your children are young, people always warn you of how quickly they grow up, but nobody reminds how beautiful it is when that happens.
When our children are young, we can hit how they wanted to be just like us, but we do not usually talk about how we may want to be like them. We are not talking about jealousy, but perhaps we should. Perhaps sparkle and painful motherhood – jealousy – jealousy in the old sense of the term. Perhaps this is the gift and beauty of adult children and motherhood: they show us who we want to be.
